Dirty little diapers…

Some dirty little secrets I have:

1. Sometimes I throw in a DVD, pop some popcorn, and call it “movie time” for breakfast.
2. I try to smile politely when people without children give me parenting advice. Meanwhile in the back of my mind I am hoping they will give birth to the spawn of Satan.
3. I put myself in time out.
4. I tell my husband I have to go to the bathroom so I can have time alone to read.
5. I spray some febreeze and light a candle instead of cleaning the house.